I was confused about my sexuality and right now I'm living in a very homophobic society. Through this blog I will find out where and to whom I belong. Stay with me...

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Holiday, Girls, School and Dream about D

April 29, 2009 Posted by B , , , , , , 11 comments
Yesterday I was in travel agency and I booked my flight to some island for the summer. I will go to some island in Europe. Well, never mind that, I’m going at that island with some friends and I will use that time to relax, to find out am I gay or bi or sraight or I don’t know what :) I’m going to go there somewhere at the end of July and the beginning of August and I’ll be on island for about 10 days. I can't wait. Simply, I feel that it will be awesome time... :)))

I god an A on biology test and I’m finish with biology, I won’t have biology never again in my life :( cause soon the high school will be over. I also got an A on first part of test in philosophy, the second part is somewhere in May. But I like philosophy, so that’s not a problem.

Soon, as I said, I’ll finish school and went to university, I already applied for one, and I will have enrolling test somewhere in June, so I will know will I be there or somewhere else. I can’t wait. I’m bit sad, cause I won’t see my classmates so often as now, but what can I do, that’s life. I will do my best to stay in contact with a few of them, the ones who mean a lot to me. If it is/was true friendship, it will last, in other way, it won’t and I must accept that as it is. Life is sometimes hard, but what the hack. I’m always optimistic :)

Now, a few words about sexuality part. I’ve noticed that I’m right now in some straight phase. I notice girls more than boys right now, and the most surprising part is that I think that I feel something about my classmate (girl classmate). I had never watched her on that way, but now, I don’t know is it because of that we are leaving, or I don’t know what else, but she looks kinda cute to me. We were together for one time, but it was one night thing only and it was while we were drunk at some party, but I must admit that from that night, I didn’t look at her on the same way. We are quite good friends, and we even make jokes about that night, but something is different and I can feel that she feels the same, or maybe I’m wrong. We’ll see.

Oh, yeah I almost forgot. I had a dream about her last night. To be honest, I had several dreams just in one night o_0. It was really scary. First some nightmare, then some party dream where I even dreamed of D. And that mustn’t happen again, it simply can’t! And the weirdest thing of all is that he was in exactly same shirt today as in my dream.

Thanks for reading,

11 comments:

  1. Ironic, I'm wearing a Biology T-shirt right now, haha. I <3 biology. ^_^

    Isn't it weird? How sometimes people become more attractive when it becomes more difficult to "attain" them? I don't know, it happens to me sometimes.

    Have fun on your vacation! And have a great time at uni!!

    P.S. We must chat online again sometime, it's been too long. Too bad our schedules haven't coincided yet. :(

    ReplyDelete
  2. I think people should just come with signs that say single/taken, gay/bi/straight, and interested/not_interested. Then there wouldn't be so much confusion in life over people we're potentially interested in.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Hypnos

    Traveling is always a nice tying to do, so i hope you reallly enjoy yourself and i hope you find what you are looking for.

    the grades sound good and good luck with the entrance exams

    Cant stop our dreams take care and be safe

    bob

    ReplyDelete
  4. Hypnos

    I hope you really enjoy the travelling and find out who you are.

    the grades are impressive and good luck on the entrance exam

    Hypnos i am just gay so god made it easy for me but that must be a bigger struggle at times for you
    being bi

    cant stop your dreams, take care and be safe

    bob

    ps would you consider linking my blog to you

    ReplyDelete
  5. oh sorry if i posted twice i for got you approved yours just and when i did not see it i recommented, just post he one you prefer lol sorry

    bob

    ReplyDelete
  6. hypnos

    where you been hope its just wxams holding you back

    take careand be safe

    bob

    ReplyDelete
  7. Hey there,

    How's it going? It's been a while since you've last blogged and I haven't seen you online at all. :(

    Updates us! ^_^ I hope you're enjoying your summer.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Hypnos

    hope all is ok long time no here from you. Drop in and say hi someitme

    take care and be safe

    bob

    ReplyDelete
  9. In response to James real quick, I don't know if you know this but there's a party theme called a stoplight party. Basically, available people wear green, taken wears red, and yellow for who the f knows? =), It's interesting but I'm actually less likely to go to these kinds of parties.

    About the post itself, I completely know what you are talking about. I think it might a crush thing. For me, most of the time I think of being guys and the porn I have is guys...But there are some girls in my life, or those I've met for a short time where I would just be like, "I ain't saying no to that" haha

    Your not the only one...

    FMS
    allformysake.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  10. Hey there, you haven't posted in a while. How're you? How's your summer going?

    ReplyDelete
  11. I think you shouldn't worry so much with a name straight/bi/gay, the only think that matters is that you feel yourself comfortable, and if you're attracted to someone be it a girl, a boy or someone in between you shouldn't worry and try to make as much of it as possible, if you want one or the other it doesn't matter as long as you are happy. Don't trouble yourself over such nonsense, you are you in the end.

    ReplyDelete