I was confused about my sexuality and right now I'm living in a very homophobic society. Through this blog I will find out where and to whom I belong. Stay with me...

Showing posts with label gay culture. Show all posts
Showing posts with label gay culture. Show all posts

Sunday, September 25, 2011

Pride day in my homophobic country

It's less than one week until the fourth Pride in my country. First one was a disaster with blood all around (it was held 10 years ago), I don't have information did anyone die and the pride site is down right now so I can't check the info, but I know there was a lot of blood and that a lot of people was seriously hurt. Second one (2 years ago) was canceled because of security measures and some serious threats. Third (last year) was successful, but it was really poor and very very risky and it was followed by riots and gathered like 6000 anti-gay activists (and there was like only 1000 gay people on the Pride, half of them was politicians who was there only for political purpose). Also, the whole city was blocked, violated and now, in less than one week from now, the fourth Pride is going to be held...

I'm following all the news and events which are related to the 'Pride' and I feel very sad with every comment I read or hear because I see how "my" (and I'm really ashamed right now to say that they are "mine") own people are so ignorant and so narrow minded (in my language, we use term "left behind"). Even positive and the "pros" comments aren't satisfying enough that it will really get better. It is so sad because majority of people hate something they don't even wanna find out and on their faces you can see that they don't even have a wish to just try to understand it. But that doesn't prevent them to comment it freely and openly (meaning negative) and to hate it. In one way I even understand them (fear of unknown and simply fear), but in another, I can't take it anymore and I can't understand how people can be THAT ignorant. My parents included (well, more dad than mom, I even think mom is okay right now with all that), even though they know about me more than a year. It's hating without a reason, which is the most stupidest thing ever and which is something DUMB and idiotic. They judge something they don't know NOTHING (literally) about. It's so sad. I just watched some TV talk show where they discussed Pride, and it was so sad and I felt really bad and I wished I never was born here, I feel so ashamed of my country, of my people, of everything said and done against Pride and I kinda lost hope (even though the hope dies last) that even a slightly lil bit will change. But... because I'm a helpless and unbeatable optimist... I still have a little hope left, only little...

Don't believe what your eyes are telling you. All they show is limitation. Look with your understanding, find out what you already know and you'll see the way to fly.

RIP Jamey Rodemeyer

I can't help it, I must mention Jamey Rodemeyer on my blog... I suppose you all heard that he was a 14 year old gay boy who killed himself and that he was being bullied because of his sexuality. It is a really sad and not so rare story, but this one got attention because he was blogging about his suffers and he was searching for support and for comfort and you can't blame him for that, you only must respect him. I just started crying......

Jamey, Rest in Peace...


I don't like when something like this has to happen so someone take action and notice something which is in front of them all the time. It's just so sad, and we people are so weak and so selfish. I'm deeply hurt by all this and I really hope that something will be done, because Jamey and all other people (not just gay, I mean all people) out there being bullied deserve that... I'm just thinking about (now, I'm being selfish) where would I be if I didn't 'close' myself and camouflaged myself into my homophobic society and environment and stayed 'unnoticeable'. The camouflage and 'closing' was only my way of dealing with thing, until I felt that I'm ready to confront the world, which I already started, but I'm going slowly and carefully because I'm not sure am I completely ready yet... We humans are really fragile and precious things and a small word and a simple act can really damage us hard... See what happened to Jamey... But also, the small word and the small act can also make us so happy and so full of love. We must protect each other and take care of each other, that's the key to the perfection. That's the key to the Love, not Hate.