Sexual Attraction

Recently I’ve stumbled upon a great website for writing and I was checking the forums and topics and found one interesting and very popular at the time.

It was about sexual attractions and it was asked by an asexual person, who doesn't feel sexual attraction and because it’s really common thing, she/he wants to write about it and wanted to hear opinions of how it’s like to be sexually attracted to someone.

Than the topic made me think about how easy we put aside some stuff which is happening around us. Like for that guy/girl, we think that sexual desire is common thing and believe me, it was a great challenge to write how you feel and express your personal experience of the feeling.

As for me, as an emotional person, I think that sexual desire is much more than just pleasing yourself and making your needs fulfilled. Sometimes I caught myself enjoying a lot more when I realize I make my partner enjoy and when I hear his sighing next to my ear. It’s not just “taking a bite of a delicious fruit” and putting it aside like some object when you taste it. It’s a mutual feeling. Sometimes when you feel attracted to someone and when he answers your moves or your looks, it makes you feel really good, feel wanted, feel great. Also, playing intellectual seducing games also counts a lot, at least for me. Everyone has his own perception of feeling excited and aroused, as for anything else in life which we feel.

Sometimes the sexual desire makes us do crazy and things we thought we would never do. It makes us question who we really are and why do we feel this way toward someone.

What do you think about the topic? How would you describe your sexual attraction feeling? Can someone realize what is sexual desire if he or she never experienced nor felt it?

As for asexuality, through my life I think I met a few asexual persons, and I'm very interested in their personality and how they think and behave. Sometimes I think they are calm and "without worries" but sometimes I think they miss a lot in their life. But as long as they are happy and enjoys other stuff more, I'm happy for them too :)

Thanks for reading. Can't wait to hear your thought on the subject...

B.

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10 days with D.

OK, we were at trip for 10 days and I can tell you that it was amazing, but I'm not so satisfied about my hanging out with D. I spent more time with his best friend and other people, because he was in other room (something complicated about keys and other stuffs) because we were going on group trip. So I was in room with his best friend and some other guy. D. was in totally different area of hotel :(

But we became closer than we were before this trip and I'm glad because of that. He told me a lot of things that I didn't knew before and I was disappointed with him in past two-three days. He came out to be just like I always knew, but I didn't want to accept that (love is blind believe me). He's total jerk. He's so cute, adorable, but in his head he totally egocentric (even more I ever imagine) and so selfish and so want-to-use-people. He thinks that with his cuteness and girls liking him, he can have everything.


I was used by him, two times. I recently find that out. First time it happened on that party (read post Night with D.) where I brought Simone and all other girls with me. I thought that Simone started to kiss with him first, but later I discovered that D. started first even I already told him to stay away from her (I told him that I will try to hook up with her). Just for the record, both were drunk that night. Then second time was three days ago when I also brought Simone to some party at some house. D. asked me to bring her. And D. slept with her just for his selfish desire to have sex. His plan was to bring some girls and hook up with them. This was like some test for Simone, because I like her a lot and I noticed that he likes me too. I was trying to see will she go all the way with D. and she did. And just for the record, she's almost 3 years older than him and always tells me that "he's little jerk, kid, but he's so cute and good kisser, but still a kid". From that words and the tone she speaks about him I thought that she hate him. But after 4 glass of vodka she was in bed with him. That night was so depressing for me because her words and everything fall into water and my heart was broken again.

Tomorrow I talked with Simone and I told her everything, about my feelings and such. We talked also about the previous night.

And what about she-likes-me part? Well, that was true, she liked or likes me, and she admitted that to me when I told her everything, but the main problem is two things. First one, she has a boyfriend (she had it even when she was with D, she cheated her boyfriend with D.), and second problem is me, because I can't look at her the same way. She's so... I don't have or I don't know word, but so disappointing for me :( I feel so used and betrayed. D. is jerk, idiot. He didn't even send me txt or anything, and he's on another holiday right now. I'll see him in about a week, and I must see what he thinks about everything. Just for the record, he maybe doesn't know what Simone is for me, but never mind that, he's still jerk.

Comments are welcome; I need them to feel better :)
P.S. Dunno why, maybe because of jealousy or fact that I'm virgin with 18, I have enormous desire to have sex with a guy or girl, whatever comes first.

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