My mom is in a hospital, she has a cancer, or at least a canceroid tissue in her mouth and now the doctors are examining her to see is the cancer harmful or can they remove it.
This made me realise that it's very easy to lose someone you love and that we are really fragile. I never thought about this and what I would do when my parents die. We usually don't think about that usual thing, which happens to all of us, but when something like this happens, you simply don't know what to think. I always acted like they will be here forever, but we all know that's impossible :-(
Even though I don't have great relationship with my parents due to my coming out last year, I'm very very attached to my mom and I don't know how would I handle if something happenes to her.
Also, I didn't talk much with them the past year, but as soon as I found out about this, I started to change my mood toward them, especially mom :-(
She is okay with me being gay and I even told her a small part of my relationship with U. But simply I felt very bad toward them when they didn't accept me as a homosexual man, and only after a long time mom showed some progress toward accepting me. And because of this, I kinda started to be away from them. I felt and I still feel hurt and unwanted and I don't have a desire to share any information with them, which is so sad. We look like strangers, we became strangers, we are strangers :-(
I can't write anymore, I don't know what to write and I don't know what to think and what to do. We need to wait to see the results of the examination. I hope that everything will be okay.
Thanks for reading,
B.
B.