:) :D :P

Forget the previous post, everything is okay now :) I was on date yesterday with Mike and I enjoyed his company so much and I could felt it that he enjoyed mine and later he even told me that on MSN...

We went to my favourite café because the weather was really shitty (and it still is :'( ) but we talked and talked and forget about other people around us. One of the most important things I like about this café is that it doesn't have a lot of visitors (cause it's some combination of cinema with café and people just enter the cinema and the café is empty even though it looks so amazing and so peaceful and really nice, comfy). I feel relaxed out there, so I can talk freely, because you know as a closeted boy living in a homophobic nation you need to pay attention who is listening and who is around and stuff like that, and it really is hard, especially now, when I'm with another guy...

So, let's go back to the story, we talked and hanged around for 3 hours and like I said before, I like him more and more with every second spent with him. He surprises me a lot in the process of getting to know him. He's so intelligent, mature and funny and so freaking hot... :-)

Later we wanted to go to the cinema, but the projection was too late, so we didn't go, but for sure we will go at our next date...

Then we went to the bus station, and he waited my bus with me, cause his bus goes more often than mine. It was sweet from him... And then my bus came and I was talking something and he was like: "I haven't listen anything to you now, some thought crossed my mind"... and I needed to hurry for the bus so I didn't get to ask him there what it was. We simply shook hands and looked at each other with "the" look... and I simply went to my bus and he entered his.

Then, we were texting each other on our way to home and when I and he entered the house we immediately went on MSN to chat and he told me that the thought which slipped his mind was how THIS (gay dating) should be normal and he wanted to say "good bye" on RIGHT way. And the same thought crossed my mind while I was entering in the bus and while I was traveling to meet him. I mean, we shook hand and simply said "see ya" which is kinda not enough. I would jump at him and kiss him passionately every time I see him, but I can't :-( This is the worst part of homophobic society, no physical contact in public (not even a holding hands), we are acting like we are friends, while we both want something more...

And then we continued our conversation over the MSN and it really felt amazing. He told me million times that he likes me and that he had great time and stuff like that and he calls me "his boyfriend" so now it's official. That's why I told you to forget the last post :-) ...

We were chatting until 3 AM, and I needed to make some break cause I was studying (I have some test today and I'm also writing this during my break from studying) but I didn't want to go off the MSN...

And one thing amazes me the most and it's so nice and it suits me a lot... In the conversation, when we mentioned friends and talking about someone, he's like: "You will meet him for sure someday, he is so amazing"... even though that friend is in Australia right now... and he will stay there for at least a year. So, the conclusion is, he wants something really long term... And that is really so sweet and so amazing and I like it... A LOT! :D

OMG, I think that I'm slowly falling in love and I'm so glad because of it... For the first time, I will get the same feeling in return... :) (I hope for that)...

And like wayner said: the great summer is slowly approaching... Can't wait! And I'm soon over with my college and I can't wait to go on summer break, to relax and to enjoy my time with Mike.

I'm seeing him tomorrow, he's coming over at my place, I'm home alone in the morning from 6 AM until 2 PM and he will go out somewhere with his sister tonight and he will come directly from nightlife to my place. Can't wait! I want to kiss him so bad... And oh, I forgot to mention one fact about him. He's so fucking, freaking AMAZING KISSER :)

OK, I'm going back to study a bit more... Wish me luck on today's test, I really need it, cause I didn't study that hard... :-)

Thanks for reading and for all the previous comments, it really means a world to me to read them... Take care!

B. :-) :-) :-)

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New Boyfriend

Boyfriend... Wow, this really starts to sound really amazing and nice and I'm getting used to it and I like it a lot :)

I haven't been blogging for some time, again... Shame on me... Sorry... And I have huge news... I'm with new boy, yeah, it's Mike and today is exactly one week being in a relationship with him.

We are taking it really slow and he's for now really great and I'm starting to care for him more and more from day to day. I'm bit scared of losing him like I lost V. cause he also seems cold sometimes and I even think that maybe problem is in me. We'll see... It seems that I'm giving more than receiving, meaning on emotions and stuff like that, and I'm scared that I don't do something what will scare him away. As for him, he didn't stop texting me, like V. did, and he tells me that he likes me and wishes me good nights and stuff like that (shortly said, he seems that he also cares about me), and we hear with each other everyday, even though I saw him last time in Wednesday. But in some moments, he seems distant... I need to talk to him about this, but not yet, maybe things will change...

We are supposed to hang out today in the city for a while, even though the weather is so shitty, there's a lot of wind and it rains like crazy... I don't know what is wrong with weather. Only one week ago it was 27 degrees (Celsius) and you could walk in your shorts down the streets and now I need my winter jacket :-( I hate when the weather is shitty... It's supposed to be summer soon...

Okay, that's all for now, only quick update, thanks for reading and for following...

I remind you that you can ask me any question at Ask Me Anything site or at the right of this blog using the form provided... I have 3 questions for now which I will answer at the end of May... Thanks for asking and I expect some more... Remember, it's called Ask Me ANYTHING!!! :P

Take care,

B.

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First Gay Break Up

First, a huge apologise for not posting in a while, honestly I didn't have the inspiration to write and I noticed that my English became ever rustier than before, and yes, I was lazy...

I will be quick, this will be a quick update, cause I'm bit tired and bored and I would like to lay down on my bed for a moment after publishing this.

I broke up with V. Well, he broke up with me, we were together for only two weeks and we were talking to each other a lot more... He broke up with me because of my physical looks and because he didn't felt that this relationship will be for long time, he searches for something else. He's kinda hyper and unstable and he wants someone who will make him calm :-) and he doesn't like the fact I'm bit unexperienced. There is maybe something else, I can feel it, but he didn't told me. Maybe I was boring to him or something, dunno, and now I don't care. He told me that I was great and very dear person and we stayed in touch... From now on we are friends :-) and I'm fine by that. He's a good person, when he wishes to be, and I don't regret anything doing with him. We didn't came to sex part, but we tried oral sex for a short time, and I don't like it. It was fun kissing a boy and I liked it... I'm grateful to him for opening this chapter of my life and for being good, slow and honest from the start. I'm really satisfied with my first gay experience... and I feel more free... and liberated...

And now disclaimer for my physical looks. I'm not that bad. I'm bit skinny, true, and not in shape now, but he wanted someone with more muscles and stuff like that, and I understood him. I had better body one year ago, when I was training actively and when I was going in gym, but now, after a year of drinking and not doing anything with exercises I get rusty... But I started going to pool and doing my swimming hours two times a week (omg, I missed swimming A LOT and I really enjoyed swimming last week) and I'm planning to start with gym soon. I regularly ride my bike and I think that I'm very athletic, but obviously not enough for V.

Well, I'm not that down because he broke up with me for such a stupid reason, I was down cause I get easily attached to people and usually get hurt, and I know that I need to be careful to whom I'm giving my heart, but I don't care, I usually see good in people and I'm very optimistic and happy person. I was hurt a lot of times before and I'm ready to be hurt again. V. hurt me, because I was starting to fall in love with him, or maybe I was just thinking that I started to fall in love with him, cause he was my first experience and I was kinda only excited cause I will be with a guy and was blinded by that. I knew it from the beginning that he's kinda "difficult" personality, but I was ignoring that but in the same time, I was preparing myself for this break up cause I knew that it will come to this, from the start, but I had hopes that everything will be okay. And all became clear to me when I cooled down from V.

Now, after few days of moaning, I'm okay and I started chatting with Mike again, and soon after breakup, in the moment of sadness I tried to get over V. by meeting up in person with Mike... And I did meet Mike in person, and OMG, I stopped thinking about V. after seeing Mike approaching and offering his hand for handshake... Then I saw Mike one more time, two days ago after some clubbing and we became really close, even though we know each other for such a short time (chatting more than two months online) and after two "dates"... At our first date, after only two minutes, I had a feeling that I know him for a very long time. And the story kinda has sense when you know what we both experienced, but I can't reveal that details yet. He's so FREAKING cute!!! And hot and good person, and I really like him.

I know, I'm maybe a bitch and mean person, because after two days from my breakup I ended meeting another guy, but V. get over me even sooner, I noticed that he was logged on that dating site few days before we "officially" broke up even though we agreed that we won't go on that site and we won't meet with another people. But never mind now... I still have good thoughts about him... He is difficult and different person from me, but I understand him and I still care about him (now as friends)...

Okay, and btw, today is Mike's birthday, he's officially 21... :-) And we are texting each other like crazy... I think that this relationship or something will be way more better than mine and V.'s... I like Mike more as a person... V. was just my punching step into gay world, and that's why I cared a lot about him, probably...

That will be all for now... Thanks for reading... I'm hoping that you are doing great, too...?!

I decided that I will be answering the questions differently from now on (I mean on 'Ask Me Anything' posts). I will answer all questions asked for example in April at the beginning of May in one single post, and so on...

Take care and be safe...

B.

P.S. Sorry because there is no any hot pictures, but I really don't have time to put them now... :-)

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