Music: 3 Doors Down - Here Without You

The new song I like so much. It left big impression on me. Reminds me on D. (again, well I think that every song reminds me on him, even some house songs cause I was on a lot of parties with him)... I'm losing my mind, but nevertheless I think that I'm slowly forgetting him, which is amazing...

Here are the words of the song:

A hundred days had made me older
since the last time that I've saw your pretty face

A thousand lights had made me colder and I don’t think I can look at this the same

But all the miles had separate
They disappear now when I’m dreaming of your face

I’m here without you baby
but your still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby
and I dream about you all the time
I’m here without you baby
but your still with me in my dreams
And tonight it’s only you and me

The miles just keep rollin
as the people either way to say hello
I've heard this life is overrated
but I hope that it gets better as we go

I’m here without you baby
but your still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby
and I dream about you all the time
I’m here without you baby
but your still with me in my dreams
And tonight girl it’s only you and me

Everything I know,
and anywhere I go
it gets hard but it won’t take away my love
And when the last one falls,
when it’s all said and done
it get hard but it won’t take away my love

I’m here without you baby
but your still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby
and I dream about you all the time
I’m here without you baby
but your still with me in my dreams
And tonight girl it’s only you and me

And here's a video, I especially love the first part (first 15 seconds) the music is great and the words are amazing. Enjoy:




Hope you'll like it.

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10 days with D.

OK, we were at trip for 10 days and I can tell you that it was amazing, but I'm not so satisfied about my hanging out with D. I spent more time with his best friend and other people, because he was in other room (something complicated about keys and other stuffs) because we were going on group trip. So I was in room with his best friend and some other guy. D. was in totally different area of hotel :(

But we became closer than we were before this trip and I'm glad because of that. He told me a lot of things that I didn't knew before and I was disappointed with him in past two-three days. He came out to be just like I always knew, but I didn't want to accept that (love is blind believe me). He's total jerk. He's so cute, adorable, but in his head he totally egocentric (even more I ever imagine) and so selfish and so want-to-use-people. He thinks that with his cuteness and girls liking him, he can have everything.


I was used by him, two times. I recently find that out. First time it happened on that party (read post Night with D.) where I brought Simone and all other girls with me. I thought that Simone started to kiss with him first, but later I discovered that D. started first even I already told him to stay away from her (I told him that I will try to hook up with her). Just for the record, both were drunk that night. Then second time was three days ago when I also brought Simone to some party at some house. D. asked me to bring her. And D. slept with her just for his selfish desire to have sex. His plan was to bring some girls and hook up with them. This was like some test for Simone, because I like her a lot and I noticed that he likes me too. I was trying to see will she go all the way with D. and she did. And just for the record, she's almost 3 years older than him and always tells me that "he's little jerk, kid, but he's so cute and good kisser, but still a kid". From that words and the tone she speaks about him I thought that she hate him. But after 4 glass of vodka she was in bed with him. That night was so depressing for me because her words and everything fall into water and my heart was broken again.

Tomorrow I talked with Simone and I told her everything, about my feelings and such. We talked also about the previous night.

And what about she-likes-me part? Well, that was true, she liked or likes me, and she admitted that to me when I told her everything, but the main problem is two things. First one, she has a boyfriend (she had it even when she was with D, she cheated her boyfriend with D.), and second problem is me, because I can't look at her the same way. She's so... I don't have or I don't know word, but so disappointing for me :( I feel so used and betrayed. D. is jerk, idiot. He didn't even send me txt or anything, and he's on another holiday right now. I'll see him in about a week, and I must see what he thinks about everything. Just for the record, he maybe doesn't know what Simone is for me, but never mind that, he's still jerk.

Comments are welcome; I need them to feel better :)
P.S. Dunno why, maybe because of jealousy or fact that I'm virgin with 18, I have enormous desire to have sex with a guy or girl, whatever comes first.

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Shelter movie review

Sometimes the life you have isn't the one you want.

I just watched movie "Shelter" online and I can tell you that it's quite good. This is my second gay movie that I watched. I watched only "Broakback Mountain" before this and I like "Shelter" cause it's more modern and closer to me.

I like a story between Zech and Shaun. It is so romantic, so dramatic and so amazing. I like it as happy end, but just for the record to all gays, not every story ends like that one or starts like that one :( It will be nice, but still it isn't like that.

I won't spoil anything to you; just watch the movie that's my recommendation.

I'd like to find something like this (I mean on their relationship), looks kinda normal now.

P.S. Recommend me some other movies like this one and "Brokeback Mountain".

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I'm back...

I didn't write for a while.

A lot of happened in this past month. I was on holiday with D. We were together for about 10 days. After these 10 days, a lot of bad thing happened about me and him.



As I said a while ago, I didn't write because my blog wasn't so popular and now nothing changed about that. I told you that I will write because it makes me feel better and I don't care how many people read my blog. Well, I'd like to tell you everything, but I already write everything down in my own private diary so I don't have to feel any better. But as I said my diary is private and no one knows what is written in it so I think that I'll write here everything and MAYBE I'll got some comments cause I want some opinions about situation.

Hope you understand...

I don't know why, but I feel that my blog sounds boring. Maybe it's because English isn't my mother tongue and it is really hard for me to write in it. Please understand!

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His name

We were together for this weekend and we had great time. We were sleeping in same house and I really like him, but now more like friend and not like... you know what I mean.

Now he's on holiday and I won't see him for about 10 days and after that we'll be together for 10 days :) Can't wait!

I also noticed that I see his name everywhere on the Internet, while surfing... That's maybe sign, but sign about what? He's 100 percent straight :(

Summer is here and I don't hang so much on the computer so please understand why I don't write so much.

This anonymous blogs are amazing... :)

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